** Thoughts Again 30 Dec

I am just a mere servant being seen different from what and who I am
This had opened my eyes to the challenge of proving myself once again
However, I am taken aback of the fact that I do not want to stay
There is a side of me that says why should you prove ones and for all

When you have shown the best in you and it’s up to them to embrace it or not
I wonder if dreaming of you not on the top is hypocrisy to them
But I really do not want it to be that way, take it or leave it
Especially in a place where I feel like I don’t want to

This had keep me thinking in months or maybe even years
I am writing at the top of my mind, probably thinking out loud
I am willing to take responsibilities with no hesitation, in fact my responsibilities now should not be mine at all
But there are just times where you can’t force yourself into it

Feelings, emotions, peoples, places, situations are mere factors but greatly influenced your decisions
With this I am in thoughts of wanting to move on, forward or prove something
I call this confusion, perhaps on-going thoughts, which I will weigh and think more and more.
I want someone to interfere myself so as to create obstructions and well direction for that matter.

Humans as we are, we are capable of achieving something bigger than we thought we can
It’s no mere luck, but rather a guided decision from above as well as perseverance and determination on your part
I feel like am lacking of the latter now, I want to, but I don’t feel to.
Confusing isn’t it, but maybe I just want an interference so as to change my direction and focus

Until when these thoughts will end, no idea…
But for now, I’ll try to seek for my focus and my direction.