A reflection of the past…
January of last year, I have written in my blog that I have dreamt of a doomsday. I never knew what that means but only when I have scanned my blog and experienced it through, have I thought of what it means.
Dreams are reminders or indications of what’s going to happen, be it in the reverse way. Last year, I have one of my not so good memories. January was the marked of my working pass renewal, I was expecting something bigger based on my contract but it turns out to be a bad omen. Instead of giving, they asked me to give them bigger in return. I was caught up in the fire and don’t know what to do. Few advices here and there, but the person whom I expect to fight with me never extended the support I needed, I tried to go to big bosses to help me solve the issue somehow, it was fixed but it was a win-win or perhaps a loss-loss situation. I felt unhappy and a good samaritan whom I know of for long offerred help and I was able to get another green pasture. Before I even started with that green pasture, I’ve had one of the saddest journey as I kept it in secret and plan to inform my closest friends that I’d be parting on that work on the same day I wil leave. I thought my friends would understand as the journey was so rough and I don’t want them to be involved in the mess. Instead they were hurt of my decision of not telling them. It was tough, as I was about to bid goodbye, it seems that the people are going away with me as well. I also have a fair problem at home as my friend and I had a misunderstanding. That misunderstanding was brought to the workplace since we were in the same workplace and share the same friends. I felt that everyone is against me and all I could trust was myself and my roommate. During that time it seems to me that everything was in chaos, from home to work. I cried but no voice came out. I explain but I was never heard. I think that was depression that caught me. All I could hear is His voice telling me to be strong and I will be able to surpass it all. And when that time came that I could take no more, I asked my friends why they are so cold and distant to me, the explanation went on non-stop.
Lesson has been learned and everything was all clear. I have a fair lesson in life and that is to not hold your friends on the neck. Let God and let it be. You don’t own their lives nor they own yours. Friends are friends and no conditions should be attached to it. That was the experience I thought was the dreamt mean. It has taught me in a hard way to isolate work and personal problems.