— sleepless nights —

i have a hard time sleeping last night
my mind has been filled with thoughts of you
my eyes are occupied with you on my sight
i wanted to sleep so tight but its hard for me to do

i’m angry at myself but i don’t know how
i wanted to shout just to let it out
i wanted to scream just to release if it is pain
instead my night has been filled with you on my dream

i hate it just to be honest
there are reasons that should stop me from falling
yet my heart ruled and it is indeed controlling
at times i felt heavy and burdened because of what I’m feeling

i sometimes don’t understand myself
and sometimes felt the guilt
to others i started expressing
but in a form of anger i am showing

Is it right?
Or to myself I am just too tight
Or was I too lose?
That makes the emotions and feelings grow.

I leave it to you
For there is still tomorrow
Whatever happens I may never know
The answer to this will just show

I shall wait for it
I know it will just come a bit
I shall not feel weary
For if I do I shall lose my energy

** this are just one of those few words straight from my heart 🙂


people, actions and reactions

It was friday morning, there is this girl walking towards her way to the train station. She’s trembling, her hand’s shaking. A guy approached her, with sad eyes they were talking. That’s how my day started by noticing other people’s feeling and reaction. ‘Twas a gloomy friday but the sun is shining so bright. I saw a woman in the train station with having literally a plastic slipper on, and on her right hand was another plastic, it keeps me wondering why such a thing. There are people who sacrifice their lives just to be in the place they want to call HOME. There is this old man, I always saw him almost always everyday sitting like his big couch outside a convenient store. Old women and men working like cows in a food court, some are cleaning the toilet and some in the floors of every train stations and shopping malls. But the best thing is, oldies near our place have the time to dance out their feet and some are doing the exercise thing every night to sweat out and reward themselves for a very tiring day.

I watched Karate Kid

It was sunny Saturday when I’ve had a walk at Southern Ridges somewhere HarbourFront area. It was 8:00 when I arrived at the place, the suppose 7:30, and yes I was late for half an hour. I was with some Christian group friends whom I’ve known from the time I came to Singapore. It was a sunny cool day and we’ve walked for 4-6 hours and I was hungry since I haven’t taken my breakfast. So hungry but I enjoyed the walk with a game in every station. We’ve had our lunch at around 2 pm. After, we watched karate kid, I was hesitant at first since it was kinda action film. The cenima was cold and I have my feet folded right in front of me. I was astonished because I enjoyed the film with matching clapping of hands. I was all smiles when we get out of the cinema. I never regret watching the movie. It was an fun enjoyable Saturday, filled with activities and events:D

An Animal Planet Episode about the Dugong and a boy

I was sitting on the couch waiting for the show Rosalka to air when I decided to transfer it to another channel.
Animal Planet caught an interest on me and I got my eye on it.

It was a mini story of a child around 10 to 12 years old and a Dugong, the lady of the sea as they call it.
Dugong is the source of a mythical stories about mermaids.
The boy loves being at the sea and discovering some new things about it.
He stop going to school without his parents knowing it just to spend his days in the water.
Then he met this Dugong, that caught his curiosity, more so upon knowing from his elder that people could rarely see this sea creature as this is shy and population is not that much these days.
They became friends and are used to each other almost everyday.
Until one day, the boy discovered that there are dynamite users sniffing around their virgin island.
He feared upon witnessing this act not just to his friend (Dugong) but also to the fishes and corals that has been destroyed.
His worries grow more when he overhear his parents talking of sending him to the mainland for him to continue his studies.
Leaving the island was hard enough for him to do as he loves it so much.
He came back to the place 9 months after, enough that the dynamite users had been imprisoned for such act.
It feared him so much as his elder told him that he saw a skull of a dugong washed by the waves along the shore of their island.
He search for his Dugong friend to the usual place they used to swim but no Dugong had ever appeared.
He decided to search for other areas in the sea until another island captured his interest, recognized by the scar on his tail, he’d found his friend. The Dugong is not alone anymore and has been surrounded by herds of them. He then realized that it is time they live their own lives and bid farewell to each other.

It was a nice short presentation that I couldn’t take my eye off it. Kudos to the people who made it, to animal planet. It is such an interesting write-up and made us realize that friendship takes in many form that appearance alone would never be a hindrance to it.

a dream of a friend

I dreamt of my deceased friend last Sunday, june 6.
It has been 9 months since she left.
The dream was weird, it’s just like were just joking around.
She told me in the dream that she’ll be exercising, then she began to do the push up. Then, I just said go ahead and we both are smiling. She then took a rest and stared at me with sad eyes. I would have cried if I did not wake up.
I could still see her face and I miss those smiles and laughters we’ve shared. So sad, we’ve shared those secrets and dreams we each wanted to achieve in life. Remembering her face in my dream saddens me. Hope that she’ll be happy in heaven together with our Amighty.