This was one of the articles I’ve written somewhere 2004, I thought I’ve lost it but was able to find it in my USB. Although I just laughed when I read this again and again but could not help but post it somehow <shy> for anyone might have experienced the same feelings expressed below, hehe, enjoy reading!!!
My dreams were shattered the time I knew that you were not meant for me. I neglected that possibility but it existed. And now I know that I was not meant for you, all my hopes are turned into pieces and I was left broken and devastated. I wish that I would be invisible so as not to see my heart craving for someone who was not even mine. All my life, you were always my dreams and my ambition. We were so near but as if I was looking on an unreachable star. I dreamt of you every hour of everyday, you serve as my inspiration for my aspirations in life. In every highway that I walk, you were the horizon that serves as my path, my road and my guide. Life now has no meaning for me, as if I was walking on an unending and crooked road, with no destination and nowhere to go. I don’t know where to start and how to start because of you. If this is what life has in store for me, then I hope that I did not met and know you at all.
I wish I could turn back time, and patch things the way I want it to be. I wish that I was warned and informed earlier by my heart rather than suffer the times and the feelings felt. Not to saw you and not communicate with you is more than a suffering to me. I don’t know when this suffering going to end and don’t know when it even started, what I could probably be sure of is that there was one day in my life that I suddenly felt good about you and it even grow more and more each day.
I was hoping that you felt the same way, but I never have any hint or idea of what your feelings are. If only I have all the control to end this and never felt it again, I could have done it a long time ago. But I was just someone strong outside but definitely hopeless and weak inside. Is it my fault to experience love, if it is, then I just hope it was not you whom I felt it this way.